THE cow house

Finally I’ve begun work at THE cow house. Coz Filip is leaving on Monday, and so I’ve gotta take over his chores serving the cows. The past 2 mornings I was the apprentice following Filip out in the morning so he could tell me what to do and what not to do.

First thing is to get the cows off the field, across the road and into the cow house. The cows are pretty well trained and know that it’s time to get moving, so all we got to do is to just walk behind them and they know where to go. Occasionally there would be the slower one trudging along or one of those trying to walk away from the pack. But a shout of some random noise coupled with the waving of the arms will do the trick in getting them back in line. If needed, physical action can be applied. Filip kicks the cows, coz he says must show them who’s boss. But I’m more for the TLC approach, more like patting the on the ass or just trying to nudge them aside.

The cows enter the cow house by a door at the side. Unlike the goats, they know how to take turns and not all charge and try to enter the door at the same time. Once inside, they go to their designated individual stalls. These cows must be programmed or something, coz they do know where to go and what to do. After they enter their stalls, they wait to be buckled in and for their food to come. We give them dry feed, 1.5 scoops for the milking cows and 1/3 scoop for the 2 non- milking cows. If there’s not enough feed in the wagon, there is a lever on the ceiling which releases more feed into the wagon. Like food falling from the sky… MAGIC.

Then it’s time to clean the udders. Or as Filip calls it, the tits. The udders gotta be clean clean clean of dirt or cow poop before they are milked or the milk may be contaminated. Which more importantly would cost Unni KR20 000. So we take a cloth and clean the udders and another piece of cloth over again to make em dry. It’s important to know where to stand while cleaning the udders coz the programmed cows know which side you are gonna approach them from and will make space for ya if you pat them on the ass to let them know you are coming through. Then Inge comes by with the milking machine and starts the milking process. Transparent pipes run along the ceiling and the milk is transported to a big tank in the milk room.

cows which have been milked lounging around whilst waiting for the rest.

the white pipes (coz it's filled with milk) at the ceiling send the milk to the milk room
the drain behind the cows is for them to poop and pee into and is collected in a massive tank below the cow house

After taking care of the milking cows, it’s time to tend to the younger cows and the calves. 6 calves are still drinking milk and so we’ve gotta warm some milk for them in a bucket which is put into another bucket of really hot water. Whilst waiting for the milk to warm up, we get grass to feed the young cows. A machine releases the grass from the ‘tractor egg’ as Filip calls it, onto the wagon beneath which we then wheel to the hungry, waiting young cows. By then, the milk is about ready for the calves. 1.5L in a bucket each and they will gulp it down in like 2 seconds. Much faster drinkers than the goats.

younger cows being fed grass


*tractor eggs are the great white balls you see in the fields (this is some random pic of another farm on the island), a machine wraps balls of grass in plastic to be kept for later usage and a tractor comes along to pick the big balls up and stack them neatly in a pile. Filip and Inge harvested about 400 of these balls this summer and it’d be used to feed the cows through the winter and the rest of the year.*

The most important thing left is to move the fence. The electric fence. Twice a day the boundary is moved back so that the cows can graze on a new plot of grass and poop on it too. First time out moving the fence I had no idea what the move was for, I thought it was just to allow the cows more area to roam. Second time we move the fence, Filip tells me why and it was like a light-bulb-going-off moment. ORHHHHH. I told him what I thought it was for and he was like, ‘You thought it was for them to go sight-seeing?!’. So far everyone who has heard it just can’t stop laughing. *Hmph*

Waiting on the cows hand and foot is almost done. We head back to the cow house and by then the milking is almost done. Before they head back out to the fields we gotta rub some fat on their udders. It’s some really greasy stuff which leaves my hands waterproof after I’m done, even though I’ve scrubbed and washed with hand soap (so I’m glad I went to the service, coz I got to deal with the heavy duty floor soap, which got most of the greasy feeling off). Then it’s time to release them from their buckles. These super programmed cows know immediately to head for the door once they are released. Those who were a little more urgent immediately pooped onto the floor up. Toilet trained cows I tell ya.

After the cows leave, it’s time to clean the area. Mainly to make sure that their mats are clear of cow poop. These mats were newly added thanks to a new EU law that stated that cows should sit on comfy mattresses. It’s supposed to keep them warm from the cold floor. And so Unni had to spend a whole load of money buying these mats for the cows’ royal butts. Inge was still joking about how the EU should make another law next year stating that all cows should wear shoes! Well according to them, the cows are pretty happy with their new VIP stalls. So it’s probably money well spent. Coz it’s important to keep the animals who make your money joyful and happy.


2 hours and many cow tits later, the work in the cow house is complete and we start all over again in another 12-14 hours later, 7 days a week. So as you can see, it’s pretty routine non-stop work being a cow and a farmer as well.