Cow fantasies

So far i'm having a pretty good time working at the cow house with the animals.


But if I had my way with cows…

… I’d toilet train them to poop outside and not IN the cow house

… I’d prefer them to come 1/4 their original size, so their poop would be 4 times less as well

… I’d get them to drink mineral filled water and not eat grass, coz moving grass to the young cows is sweat-breaking work.

… I'd wish their udders were on their backs so I wouldn’t need to get down on the ground to clean them

… I'd wish they understood English, so they know when to stand or move when I tell them to, and not make me resort to using physical violence when they don’t listen to me

… I'd wish they only needed to be milked on weekdays so that I could get the weekends off. Once a day instead of twice a day would be a bonus too.

... I'd wish they came in cool colours like hot pink and powder blue and not just the boring old brown, white and black

… I'd wish one cow produced the same amount of milk as 15 cows do

… I'd wish they’d be more fun, so you can play with them. Sorta like dogs or cats. And not just eat and sit around all day.

… I'd wish I had a moo-ing translator, so i know what in the world they want or need. Coz sometimes it just drives me mad.

… MOST IMPORTANTLY, I just wish milk came straight off the shelves in the supermarket, so we wouldn’t need to go through alllllllllll this hassle
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then again, things can't always go the way you want them to

so just gotta TOUGH LUCK, SUCK IT UP!